A Lonesome Jubilee

It was a cold winter’s morning; my arms folded an attempt to keep myself warm. My long black overcoat was swaying at the base against the frigid morning air. My head was bowed down as I drifted up the alley. The Soho was now my home, I was lamenting as I was walking. My humble and innocent beginnings, my thirst for the rattle of coins, and flicking of notes in my tip jar, my struggle with heroin like addictions. It seemed now that I had achieved the kind of balanced lifestyle that I always desired.

A tear slipped down my cheek, I was alone. There was a price for the somewhat lavish lifestyle I was living and this was mine. Faces, moments, visions of a life spent in and out of clubs, beds and bordello's etched in my mind like a scare from a third world operation. A life spent making the sad smile, lonely wanted, the bad guys kings leaves me devoid of a positive attitude in solitude.

The morning air was beginning to freeze my cheeks; snap my mind was lost in a previous time a distant vision scrolled into view. Sitting on bed, the smell of men’s aftershave on me, smudged lipstick my arms where folded clasping my scant clothes against my torso. I turned looked behind me. Who he was I do not know his well toned body lay motionless a night of sensuality left him devoid of energy.

I look to the floor my black boot stuffed with notes, a good night for me it seemed. I rose from the bed walked into the bathroom, dressed myself, whipped my face a returned to collect my takings and boots. I hurried out the door, teleporting home to see Karenza.

The normal routine at this time in my life would have me sitting on my bed with her sharing the fruits of the nights work, sharing the details a playful challenge as to who fared better.

Karenza was witty, confident and I often joked to her that she could sell ice to the Eskimo’s, but Judging by the weight of notes stuffed inside my right leather boot had me in a confident frame of mind.

I finally teleported into my large open skybox apartment, I smiled and walked towards the bed.
My smile withdrew, I became frantic. Karenza was lying on bed, legs crossed; she lay motionless on the bed arms outstretched like she was crucified. A bottle of opened pills inches away from her right hand.

A note clasp in her left hand, I climbed on top of her my frantic behaviour becoming more distraught. I called her name, no response. I moved my ear against her mouth; I could feel or hear no breath. I felt her pulse, I could sense nothing. Frantic moved into distress. I moved my arms around her torso, I held her tightly in my arms.

Her fear of becoming too wired and dependant on the attention left her with no alternative. I squeezed her tightly in my grip. Tears flowed, my eyes were reddened.

I wiped what seem to be the same tears from my face as I reached the front door of my new home. I opened the door of my home and walked into my dance studio. The doors shut behind me as I made my way up to the first floor. A large open space, a couch in the corner, I made my way to the small sofa in front of fire place. I looked briefly at my palmtop, an unopened message awaits me. I look at the name; it’s from a reporter writing a story about me. I ignored it. I feel I am standing on the edge of something; I pick up a blanket and a pillow.

I climbed into the sofa, removing my overcoat I threw it over the back rest. I clutch the pillow, covered myself and moved into an embryonic position. I slowly become hypnotised by the flicker of flame in the fire against the crackle of burning wood. My gaze locked on my fire place.

I slowly drift off into my safe place a vacant world of nothing, motionless, resting peacefully on the sofa.

Oz .x