Chemical Nightmare

Slam the door to the cubicle next door slams shut. My humble frame slumped in the rear corner, the door to the public toilet is switched to "No Vacancy'. I have been reduced to a shell, needle tracks build on my arm.

Its cold, I feel it, I shiver. I Struggle for warmth in my lonely existence. Sequences of events and a series of wrong decisions, careless heart transactions sending me into a heroin addicted like spiral.

Flashbacks, visions of a seemingly distant high life of expensive designer outfits, best in latex, leather, lingerie, gowns, earning money quicker than I could spend it.

My secret stash of cash slowly gives away like an old tree stump on a desolate landscape to the demands of nature. My big heart keeps searching for inner strength, my blood black and becoming thicker as the days pass by.

Alone I shiver; I rub my arms in an attempt to keep warm. Yet my Sami seemingly no where to be seen anywhere. I collect broken friendships, broken hearts, and a lost love like trophies.

Our two souls wanting the same thing, yet impossible to find the sanctity of a safe environment to let our love flourish into something resembling the hanging gardens of Babylon.

Flick of the lighter I slipped out of my pocket, the powder on the spoon burns into a liquid. I fill the needle I left on the seat in front of me.

Flick, flick, squirt, my safe place awaits me. I tie the latex tube around my arm; pull it with my teeth tight. Ouch slight pain, the blood thinner injects into my arm.

Needle, rubber tube drops on the floor with my limp arm, I feel it taking affect.

"Bang" on the door. "Hey" a voice speaks to me.

My lips move, my altered state consuming, clouding my judgment, I retort with a slow and soft "Pick another bitch, leave me alone".

Thud, my head hits the rear wall, I slump into the corner how one re-invents themselves from here remains a big question.

"Hey", she replies....Silence, my eyes close...

"Bang, Bang", "hey, open the door"

Darkness consumes me to fading repeated sounds of “Bang, Bang", "hey, open the door"